im fighting off the deveil and not i cant whin. if there was something to say abbout it i no that i can fight it for ever and now i have to losse cuz if i fight for ever then i losse everyhting i got.

im haveing problumbs with famliy and firands 6 of my old frainds are now die or in the hospital and i ikd if i could have done any thing to do. but i do no that god is sleeping though my fingers and i trying to hold on but life is to hard but i will hold on to what i have.

this week is one of the liveing hell cuz im wornding every minit of every day that if me and my gf are going to last and trying so hard to hold on to her. if i losse her it will be the end of me and what i have fought to fichgt for and her and all i got.
yes i do have not everything to no about me who dose but the harder i try the more i losse her. i cant fight anymore with her or i might losse her for the rest of my life i have giveing so much up to be with her and now it is going down the hole.
if ther was a buttin i would redo everthing and i wish i would not have seen anyouther girls out there. if jess said u r not alode to do something that might cosst me somthing then i wuold do it in the best way i could and if she did not like that and not have to do that way or something i would. but now she is saying she dose not no if she wants me and wants to be with me anymore. but i no she is the one and only for me and i will do almy poer to stay with her. but when she say no and i cant do that or i dont lisen i try so hard and everytime i get is that. its not good enuf i want u to do it beter.
im falling a part trying to mend us together but its going in a way that idk if i or she can stop it but god can and im praying and crying everday to him about her but it seem like he is not lisening to me and not careing what i have to say.
now i have all this going on and kelly is wanting me to memeriz all this lines idk if i can do that and im trying to make everyone happy. what i want is to save up $3000 to go to newzanland and go and right my book by my self with no internet or phonse or anything i just want me and god and my book to go i cant right in my book cuz i have so much going on and i am superised i got on here to say this to u all. i need prayer for and everthing i have on here so i no u will help me i love u all and thax for beeing there though the good times and the bad one