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Well I have something to say now with no one to hear. I was sitting in my room and thinking about life and what God has done with me and everthing arond me in the last year. And what I can think of is this quetions.

Why have I ben though all of this in my life?
Why God made me?
What is the prpos of me liveing? For kelly (not thinking about killing my self)
Are my frainds good for me?
What can i do to Grow?
How can everyone be happy for me and when i look at my self I just see a fat sad guy and not worth anything to anyone?
Why dose no girls like me?
What do i want to do for a liveing?

help me anser this i am lost and cant find what im looking for.


i cry everynight not noing what i am good for

So life is going on and not one thing is new with me but God has said to me think about going to YWAM down far from here and that would be the biges thing i ever did im just a bit nervies. so if you think about it can u pray for me and i like this one girl and now im just sitting here drinking and haveing a good time with me and myself and i think it would be better if kelly and if she want to bring her sister to my home that would be fun like last week on a wesday kelly came over and we played darts and games with my fam and i think she liked cuz she is somewhat wanting to come over agen and i i rilly wory about kelly she need to say im going out of town and or something and i am going to do thing for my self and not live the way i am now she just need time with God and her no one else and if kelly reads this i will be doooooomed lol. and there is this one girl i like but idk she dose not no if she likes me and idk what with her some times but she is a Vary strough follower of God and she is amazing and idk what to do but give it up to God so that is what i have to say and ya

im lost

so yesterday i had the best time of my life. well i dont about that but it was rilly far up there kelly and Kierra Morrison love me for who i am not what i do. like i told them a story about a tree and me and then a story about a deer that both of wich i was not to bright but its my life.




but now i sit here thinking about all thing i have done and all thing have yet to come in to play. then i got a phone call last night after i went to bed and i did not pick it up cuz it was not in my phone book. i deleted like 200 people in my phone this week that were not putting me up and i fell a sleep and i go on with life i thought but ones agen i was not rady for my year or life to be changed.




i woke up today way to erly but i woke up and called them back and it was a hospital and it went to the my friends phone wich i was not thinking was in there. when someone pick up it was Joe's H Dad. he was not one of my best friends but i saw him here and there. but Mr. h said what happened was he was on his way to a church thing with his soon to be wife. i dated her her name was hannah H. and a truck head to head hit them the guy was not killed but he was drunk and allot more thing then that but idk everything. but Hannah die and joe was close to death.

and i say to my self why dose god not want them to go to this Church thing and why did this happen when i had one of the best weeks of my life.



so i went there and i saw one of my old best frainds die just like that and it got me thinking that life is so shourt and why the gass ball am i just dinking arond



but im giveing this and ever thing to god cuz i love him more then i love anyone i no and i just wanted to him there when i go though good and bad times